And the Battle Rages On – side-effects from the prolonged use of medications - by Sabrena

I have to say, throughout the one year of under-going the medication (the Prednisolone and Azathioprine) had really changed my outlook towards life. I literally lost my self-confidence and every time I looked into the mirror, I do not even recognize the person who was staring back at me. I hated myself. In fact, I still do. I no longer posses the eloquence of a language teacher since I pretty much have lost my ‘groove’. I mean who would want to listen to a fat and grumpy teacher any way? I stammer a lot and I could not even bring myself to share any opinions with anyone.

I was bloated to the point of no return and the physical condition was worrying. Don’t say I have not tried to keep the water retention and puffiness at bay. I did Yoga and exercised with dumb bells every morning; unfortunately, the weight just kept on coming. Sometimes I wished I could have super powers. Nope, I do not want super strength or the ability to fly or transform into a guinea pig. I just wanted the ability to transfer fat to the villains (any part of their bodies for that matter). Can you imagine a foxy villain in a leather suit having a bum cheek bigger than the other, fleeing away from me because he/she couldn’t bear to be weirdly fat? Just how could the villain shed that extra baggage away? (snicker J) Just something for personal trainers to ponder upon.

Anyway, the dermatologist I was seeing was concerned with my overall health especially when I highlighted that small red spots have started to appear on my skin. These spots if I am not mistaken are warning signs of consuming too much Azathioprine. Bruises (which appeared out of nowhere) have also started to show its ugly face. This is one of the early signs indicating my liver has been affected by the medication. He then sent me to see an endocrinologist. The endocrinologist poked my foot (bloated as ever) with a wooden stick and asked me to guess whether he was using the sharp pointy end or the blunt one. I got it wrong a number of times. In a rather grave tone, he said my nerves were already damaged. Then he did a blood test and checked my blood pressure only to confirm that I have steroid-induced diabetes and steroid –induced hyper-tension. So, as expected, I was given more medications to control the blood sugar levels (glucophage) and blood pressure (cozaar). I was also asked to see a nutritionist to devise a proper diet to curb the conditions.

Picture of stretch marks all over my body due to water retention and sudden weight gain

Some of my friends were very concerned about my failing state of health and advised me to seek alternative solutions. The question is, how could I find one, when most of them promise to boost a person’s immune system one way or another? As much as I wanted to try, having an over-reactive immune system does not permit me to do so. It would only make matters worse. So, despite the condition I was in, I kept on taking my meds as prescribed, hating myself more and more each day. There were days where I felt like not wanting to go to work. My body was also stiff due to the steroid-induced rheumatoid arthritis. It would take around half an hour to muster the strength to get up to take a bath. Due to this, I wished I could just hide away in a cave, far away from those menacing eyes of civilization.

I got angry a lot during this period. When I go to work, I would bury myself with the tasks given to me and I snapped a lot. I have no idea how Mimi managed to withstand my self-pity and frustration derived temper tantrums. (Thanks Mim!) I know that she doesn’t like to be treated like that and that is a lesson learned for me. I forget that we sometimes would hurt the ones closest to us because we tend to take them for granted. (Love ya lots, Mim).

Anyway, one day I had a late lunch, and a very late dinner. I did not think much about it though; so the next morning, I took my meds as always and I started experiencing vertigo. I went to work despite the dizziness, thinking I could get to the panel clinic later. At the office, I was too bogged down with the students and work that Mimi had to force me to go to the doctor. I explained to the doc on my current medication and medical history. She checked my blood pressure and said that it is perfectly normal, so I returned to the office and resumed work. That night, I started vomiting and had to go to the toilet, so many times, I lost count!

Soon I became dehydrated and tired from the lack of sleep. I went to the clinic near to home first thing in the morning. Somehow rather, despite my appearance and weakness, the blood pressure is still fine.  I honestly find that to be rather odd. So, I continued taking the meds for diabetes and hypertension in addition to the steroids and immunosuppressant, Azathioprine. By late afternoon, I literally started seeing stars. You know those neon lights (from the lamp posts or car headlights) we see each night? The stars pretty much looked like that; and I saw them everywhere I looked and every time I opened my eyes. The only difference was, I saw them as groups of different hues of yellow lights. The intensity of the colour varies depending on the object/person in front of me. I had to hold onto the walls and furniture to walk and as soon as I reach the bed, I would just collapse. 

 This is how I looked like all puffy and unhealthy. Picture taken a week before I collapsed.

Mimi took a leave that day, and she began to worry. She insisted I go to the clinic again. This time, it was my regular GP. Just one look at me and she informed Mimi that I need to be taken to the Emergency Room as I was gravely ill. I was rushed to one of the nearest private hospitals by Mimi and upon reaching the Emergency Room door, a doctor, two nurses and a wheel chair was waiting for me. My vision was a blur and the next thing I know, I was hoisted to a bed, a drip line was made and I heard Mimi answering a few questions. At around 5pm, after 3 hours in the Emergency Room, I was sent to the High Dependency Unit (HDU). It was then when I was informed that my blood pressure was below 50 upon my arrival and the docs at the Emergency Room had to ensure that the pressure reached 50 before I could be sent to the HDU. Apparently, given my situation, taking a hypertension controlling drug was an extremely bad idea as it makes the blood pressure drop even further, leaving me in a life-threatening condition.

I think this is long enough for this week. I promise to continue on the recovery and what I have learned next week.

XOXO

Ms. Invictus