I have to say, throughout the one year of
under-going the medication (the Prednisolone and Azathioprine) had really
changed my outlook towards life. I literally lost my self-confidence and every
time I looked into the mirror, I do not even recognize the person who was
staring back at me. I hated myself. In fact, I still do. I no longer posses the
eloquence of a language teacher since I pretty much have lost my ‘groove’. I
mean who would want to listen to a fat and grumpy teacher any way? I stammer a
lot and I could not even bring myself to share any opinions with anyone.
I was bloated to the point of no return and the
physical condition was worrying. Don’t say I have not tried to keep the water
retention and puffiness at bay. I did Yoga and exercised with dumb bells every
morning; unfortunately, the weight just kept on coming. Sometimes I wished I
could have super powers. Nope, I do not want super strength or the ability to
fly or transform into a guinea pig. I just wanted the ability to transfer fat
to the villains (any part of their bodies for that matter). Can you imagine a
foxy villain in a leather suit having a bum cheek bigger than the other,
fleeing away from me because he/she couldn’t bear to be weirdly fat? Just how
could the villain shed that extra baggage away? (snicker J) Just something for personal trainers to ponder
upon.
Anyway, the dermatologist I was seeing was concerned
with my overall health especially when I highlighted that small red spots have started to appear on my skin. These
spots if I am not mistaken are warning signs of consuming too much
Azathioprine. Bruises (which
appeared out of nowhere) have also started to show its ugly face. This is one
of the early signs indicating my liver has been affected by the medication. He
then sent me to see an endocrinologist. The endocrinologist poked my foot
(bloated as ever) with a wooden stick and asked me to guess whether he was
using the sharp pointy end or the blunt one. I got it wrong a number of times.
In a rather grave tone, he said my nerves were already damaged. Then he did a
blood test and checked my blood pressure only to confirm that I have steroid-induced diabetes and steroid
–induced hyper-tension. So, as expected, I was given more medications
to control the blood sugar levels (glucophage)
and blood pressure (cozaar).
I was also asked to see a nutritionist to devise a proper diet to curb the
conditions.
Some of my friends were very concerned about my
failing state of health and advised me to seek alternative solutions. The
question is, how could I find one, when most of them promise to boost a
person’s immune system one way or another? As much as I wanted to try, having
an over-reactive immune system
does not permit me to do so. It would only make matters worse. So, despite the
condition I was in, I kept on taking my meds as prescribed, hating myself more
and more each day. There were days where I felt like not wanting to go to work.
My body was also stiff due to the steroid-induced rheumatoid arthritis. It would take around half an hour to
muster the strength to get up to take a bath. Due to this, I wished I could
just hide away in a cave, far away from those menacing eyes of civilization.
I got angry a lot during this period. When I go to
work, I would bury myself with the tasks given to me and I snapped a lot. I
have no idea how Mimi managed to withstand my self-pity and frustration derived
temper tantrums. (Thanks Mim!) I know that she doesn’t like to be treated like
that and that is a lesson learned for me. I forget that we sometimes would hurt
the ones closest to us because we tend to take them for granted. (Love ya lots,
Mim).
Anyway, one day I had a late lunch, and a very late
dinner. I did not think much about it though; so the next morning, I took my
meds as always and I started experiencing vertigo.
I went to work despite the dizziness,
thinking I could get to the panel clinic later. At the office, I was too bogged
down with the students and work that Mimi had to force me to go to the doctor.
I explained to the doc on my current medication and medical history. She
checked my blood pressure and said that it is perfectly normal, so I returned
to the office and resumed work. That night, I started vomiting and had to go to the toilet, so many times, I lost
count!
Soon I became dehydrated
and tired from the lack of
sleep. I went to the clinic near to home first thing in the morning. Somehow
rather, despite my appearance and weakness, the blood pressure is still
fine. I honestly find that to be rather
odd. So, I continued taking the meds for diabetes and hypertension in addition
to the steroids and immunosuppressant,
Azathioprine. By late afternoon, I literally started seeing stars. You know those neon lights (from the lamp
posts or car headlights) we see each night? The stars pretty much looked like
that; and I saw them everywhere I looked and every time I opened my eyes. The
only difference was, I saw them as groups of different hues of yellow lights.
The intensity of the colour varies depending on the object/person in front of
me. I had to hold onto the walls and furniture to walk and as soon as I reach
the bed, I would just collapse.
This is how I looked like all puffy and unhealthy. Picture taken a week before I collapsed.
Mimi took a leave that day, and she began to worry.
She insisted I go to the clinic again. This time, it was my regular GP. Just
one look at me and she informed Mimi that I need to be taken to the Emergency
Room as I was gravely ill. I was rushed to one of the nearest private hospitals
by Mimi and upon reaching the Emergency Room door, a doctor, two nurses and a
wheel chair was waiting for me. My vision
was a blur and the next thing I know, I was hoisted to a bed, a drip
line was made and I heard Mimi answering a few questions. At around 5pm, after
3 hours in the Emergency Room, I was sent to the High Dependency Unit (HDU). It was then when I was informed
that my blood pressure was below 50 upon my arrival and the docs at the
Emergency Room had to ensure that the pressure reached 50 before I could be
sent to the HDU. Apparently, given my situation, taking a hypertension
controlling drug was an extremely bad idea as it makes the blood pressure drop
even further, leaving me in a life-threatening condition.
I think this is long enough for this week. I promise
to continue on the recovery and what I have learned next week.
XOXO
Ms. Invictus